Holy fuck! I knew i had let myself go when I got back from overseas, but not by this much. It’s a frightening realisation when you look at the scales and tape measure, and the stark reality of how big you are starts to settle in.

Well I’m fat. The official term is morbidly obese. I’m fat enough that it’s killing me. The realisation is i’m eating myself in to an early grave. It’s hanging around my head today like a black cloud, and it’s actually making me depressed. I can see why it’s a battle for people to loose weight. It’s a dangerous loop that got you this way in the first place, and it’s that same loop that keeps you there.

One of my fears as I begin today, is most large people lose some weight, then give up, and put more on than they have in the first place. I would really love to see all the stars of ‘The Biggest Loser’ 5 years on, to see if the lifestyle changes they made have stuck. Or once they are back in to their old lives, with the familiar stress and fears, that they don’t revert back. I’m guessing one or two haven’t but the majority have.

There’s those scary figures below.

So what am I going to do today.

Physical Things:

• Go for a walk. Start to move myself more.
• Spend less time on the computer

Stress:

• Get help with the money situation
• Learn how to relax
• Spend more time with old & new friends.

They are things I can do today. I will be writing more about what I’m doing to change things in the weeks & months to come.

Waist : 161 cm
Hips :  128 cm
Chest : 146 cm
Weight : 163 kg
Morning BGL : 11.2 (mmol/dl)