I’ve had a few people ask me, how are my life plans, and other things progressing? I’m moving along quite happily.

• My health seems to be improving daily. I have more energy, I’m starting to sleep a lot better, and just starting to feel better all round.
• I’m still losing weight. It’s leaving at about 0.5kg-1.0kg a week on average. Some weeks more, others less. That’s about the speed I want to go. I want a lifestyle change, not something which goes away fast, only to return just as quickly. This isn’t ‘The Biggest Loser’ and never will be.
• I’m eating a lot healthier. I’ve reduced the amount of junk I eat very significantly, and swapped it for healthier organic meat, fruit and vege.
• Still cleaning out my house, but have made significant changes. Still more to do.

I wanted things to be permanent, not just a flash in the pan, so I’m taking my time, and doing things right the first time, so I don’t have to do them again.

I’m exercising nearly everyday, but rest when I’m feeling tired and out of sorts. I don’t want it to become a chore, I have to want to do it.

Financially I’m still getting there, and will be a longer term plan. It is taking a while to stabilise my income, and make sure I’ve got a buffer just in case things go south in the future.

I’m still getting use to spending more time on my own. I’ve some very good friends, and I’m seeing them regularly, and doing things which add to my life not just for the sake of catching up. I come from a large family, so having alone time is not something I am use to. I’ve always wanted a crowd around me, and to be invited to do things ‘all the time’. I’m finding I’m now spending more time on doing things that are helpful to me, and what I want in life. I have to admit it’s been a struggle. I feel guilty spending time and effort on myself. Like I don’t deserve it. I’ve always focused the majority of my energy on other people. Helping them to do things, and not much on myself. The guilt is because I feel selfish spending that time on myself. It’s a crazy situation to be in. I’m always suprised when people want to spend time with me, or do things with me. I will get use to it in time.

I must say, i’m getting much more done at home, and in my own personal development. I’m extremely proud of how far I’ve come in just over 2 months. I have momentum for the first time in my life, and it feels good.

Adz

At the beginning of December,  I was thinking about what New Years resolutions I wanted to write down and work on. About 20 minutes into it, I was like ‘what the..’ and promptly stopped. I didn’t want 2010 to be the same as the years that had gone before it. I wanted to make some changes, and my standard new years resolutions weren’t going to cut it. Like most people I would put them down, and by February they were all forgotten about.

I was single for the first time in years, and had lost the shield of a relationship to prevent me from doing the things I should be doing. I have to admit I’m damn lonely at the moment, but it does allow me to have a deeper look into myself and my life.

I decided 2010 was going to be a project, the beginning of a multi-year project. About those things I had been putting off for years. The things I didn’t like about myself, the things I could afford to let go of, and the things I wanted to change. It started off a massive list. I didn’t restrict anything at all. I have to admit it was huge, and it looked very intimidating at first.

One thing that seemed to be showing up through all of this, that most of things I needed help with needed Money of some sorts. Before you arc up and complain that money doesn’t bring you happiness. I know that only to well, but overwhelming debt can make you completely miserable, and effect all facets of your life.  I’m not going to get into detail of what got me into this amount of debt, people close to me already know.

So I ended up with a number of Category’s to work from, which turned out to be.

• Financial Responsibility
• Mental Health & Spirituality
• Physical Health
• Education
• Social Life
• Living Space
• Life Plan
• Relationships

So instead of trying to multitask it, and fail on the first day. I’m focusing on one thing, and when it is settled and bedded in moving on to the next thing.

Well one month in, most of the changes I wanted to financially are done. There will be some on-going maintenance with it, but I’m now happy where most things stand. I will have more money to focus on the other things in my list and life, which are important to me.

I’m actually quite proud of myself today, cause instead of sticking my head in the sand, and hoping it goes away, I feel like I”m starting to move in the right direction.

I know I’m not unique in what I’m about to talk about. Plenty of people have been in the same position that I’m in now. Realising that the life you wanted, is nothing like the life you currently have. I always expected to have things more together, have more of clue where I’m heading or what I want to be.

Lets have a quick summary of where I am.

• My friends all think I am a nice guy, my issue is I don’t believe it myself.
• Just come out of another failed relationship caused by my own self loathing, and ability to believe in myself.
• I’m lacking in self confidence.
• I’m trying to recover from a life threatening illness.
• I’m morbidly obese (it even sounds awful)
• I’m a type 2 diabetic.
• I’m stressed all the time.
• I worry more about the world around me, my friends etc, more than I do about myself.
• All the things above are killing me, and are all related.

So what am I going to do about it.

Well that’s the open book at the moment. I’ve decided its time to take things a bit more seriously.

• Concentrate on fixing the things that are hurting me today.
  • Diabetes under control
  • Get more sleep
  • Lower the level of stress in my life
  • Spend more time and contact with the people that love me
  • Getting better organised
  • Get help from people that have been there before.
• Start a future life plan of where i want to be in 1 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years.
• Hope for the best, plan for the realistic.
• Smile, laugh, and ultimately enjoy my own company.

It’s time to pull away from the black dog, and get back in the game of living. Cause right now I know one thing, I’m not happy and that is no way to live.