I know I’m not unique in what I’m about to talk about. Plenty of people have been in the same position that I’m in now. Realising that the life you wanted, is nothing like the life you currently have. I always expected to have things more together, have more of clue where I’m heading or what I want to be.

Lets have a quick summary of where I am.

• My friends all think I am a nice guy, my issue is I don’t believe it myself.
• Just come out of another failed relationship caused by my own self loathing, and ability to believe in myself.
• I’m lacking in self confidence.
• I’m trying to recover from a life threatening illness.
• I’m morbidly obese (it even sounds awful)
• I’m a type 2 diabetic.
• I’m stressed all the time.
• I worry more about the world around me, my friends etc, more than I do about myself.
• All the things above are killing me, and are all related.

So what am I going to do about it.

Well that’s the open book at the moment. I’ve decided its time to take things a bit more seriously.

• Concentrate on fixing the things that are hurting me today.
  • Diabetes under control
  • Get more sleep
  • Lower the level of stress in my life
  • Spend more time and contact with the people that love me
  • Getting better organised
  • Get help from people that have been there before.
• Start a future life plan of where i want to be in 1 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years.
• Hope for the best, plan for the realistic.
• Smile, laugh, and ultimately enjoy my own company.

It’s time to pull away from the black dog, and get back in the game of living. Cause right now I know one thing, I’m not happy and that is no way to live.