I’m getting older. I’m crashing and burning my way towards my 40th birthday, and I have to admit I’m terrified. I’m at work today wondering what is next for me. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life over the last 3 months, and actually quite proud of my achievements. I believe I’m more put together today than I have been in a very long time, and that I can be justifiably proud.

I do however have a lot more to do, and I must say it can be hard going at times, but making real and lasting changes in one’s life isn’t easy, otherwise we would all be doing it.

For my birthday, I haven’t planned that much, just some quality time with some good friends.

• Tonight I’m heading to Braza at Liechhardt. It’s a fantastic brazillian BBQ, and I’m looking forward to having a stupid amount of meat on sticks!
• Saturday catching up with a few friends for a couple of quiet drinks at a pub in town, and then heading off to dinner. I’m not planning on getting that drunk, but you never know!

One of the things I’ve come to realise is. It’s up to me to make my life better. As much as other people can come along for the ride, the bulk of the work needs to be done by me.

Back in may of last year, Sydney hosted a festival called Vivid. It was based around light and sound, and their were amazing sites to be seen around the city. Here is some of the photo’s I took of the opera house.

The streets around my parents place come alive on Xmas eve. The whole street puts tealights in brown sandwich bags, plays music, shares beers, and has santa roaming the streets. It’s very much like Christmas’s i remember as a kid, where the whole street got involved.

Even a Christmas cynic like myself was smiling like an idiot. I took a few photos. I need more practice with night work on my camera. Click on the photo for some more I took.

I’m feeling a bit nostalgic at the moment. It’s been a tough year for me. I’m hoping 2010 will bring some new, exciting and good things. I’ve had a lot of fun, my health has been a bit dodgy, and I had a long term relationship go down the drain when I wasn’t looking. I travelled overseas for my brothers wedding, met some amazing new people, and realised that my life back at home wasn’t that great.

So I end the year single, still struggling with my health, and contemplating/making some very big changes in my life. Some have already happened, some are in the pot cooking away waiting to happen early in the new year. The big thing is, I’m making decisions and going through with them. Not just sitting back hoping things will get better. I’ve had that attitude for too long. I have no idea how I expected things to get better if i wasn’t changing myself.

Full of great ideas, that never happened, cause I was too lazy, stubborn, or caught up in the every day existence to put any effort towards them. So things stay the same. Not any more.

I’m in Wollongong today ready for a family Christmas. I’m actually looking forward to it this year, as it’s Riley’s first one (my brother & his wife has a baby boy this year) and want to see the look on his face. I’m also looking forward to seeing all my old school friends on boxing day.

So…

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. I hope all your hopes and dreams are fulfilled this holiday season, and if they aren’t that you are moving towards them.

The one thing we are all to rejoice in, is ‘we are still here’. Any day above ground is a good day.

hugs

Adz